Update

I just uploaded an app for my phone that'll let me write blogs n post them sooo it's really convenient now n I will write more! Lol.

:)


~Miss Safiyyah

Why Deal??

This question arose the other night: if we know so much then why do we deal with things (people) when we kno what's going to happen everytime? No matter how much we say we deny it, we want to believe this person will be different when they aren't! It ties in with the idea of wanting something so bad, you try to see past the warning signs. Yet sometimes, there are no warning signs and for that I have no advice. We have to stop giving ppl so much credit- if it's not working for the credit bureaus how is it going to work for us?

But I can admit I am getting a little better- instead of starting a dude with something compared to a $1000 limit, I start them off with $50. However, no one has showed me they deserve an increase in their limit yet... So I continuously drop players from the team n add players to the team. It is what it is.

Now don't get me wrong... There will be someone who comes along and is different but you still need to start off slow. I have a new plan where I'm just making friends. I put nothing more than that on them. I thought of this when thinkin of how to make a marriage work and I realized I would need a friend!! Lol But these basic guys can't even handle friendship, they react like it's a foreign concept. Wait it is- other girls come at them with intentions off top of getting in a relationship (I say this from experience). Either way you lose, but that's fine. Because if they're basic, why would you want to be with them or have a long term relationship with them??




~Miss Safiyyah

More to COME

i promise i'm gonna try to write more everyone!!! lol like soon!!

Friends? How many of us have them? lol

Dreams are strange... U never know exactly what they mean, unless you are a dream interpreter i guess. a book i'm writing has a few crazy dreams in them. I bet you can't wait to read it. I still have a little more to go, so sorry on that note! lol

Moving on

As you get older you lose friends. That's obvious. Some you really don't care about, some you do. Some you even wonder why you lost them as friends. I have a few of those from high school, but it still doesn't bother me that bad. I know everyone has their season, but sometimes I think we cut ppl off too soon. Like you believe you will be better off without them in your life and that eventually leads to ignoring phone calls and texts. That person gets the clue and you don't hear from them again. Okay, but what if that person was someone you knew for a good 4 or 5 yrs before this happens. Regardless of how much they got on your nerves, didn't they deserve a little better as far as treatment? Couldn't you have just been real and told them how you felt about them or something? Of course not, that would be too much like right, right? lol So 2 years have gone by and you still haven't spoken to them. You ride down their street and think of them, but know better than to call or stop by. A random memory pops in your head of them, you still do nothing about it.

Is it because you are so used to being without that friend now? The friend that at their best was love? Someone who stood up for you on numerous occasions, someone who was willing to fight for you, someone who cared point blank?

Or is it your pride that refuses to admit you were wrong? Better yet, maybe its this fast paced, selfish world we live in? You keep yourself so busy filled with nothing, that after awhile you haven't noticed the time flew by so fast.

Of course, the nice things are always remembered, but I guess the bad things stop you too. The fact that they never admitted their feelings for you even after you did. The fact that they disrespected you at some points- but you knew that was their personality the entire time you knew them, so why get sensitive now? Why didn't you just confront them about it?

Forgiveness is extremely important. There are always two sides to a story. Both of these sayings are said almost everyday to us, yet it goes in one ear and out the other until its too late. You have to forgive yourself and them for all of it. More than likely when you get to this point, the arguing and the silent treatment seems kind of petty.

My point is, I've had a friend I loved unconditionally who is no longer with us. I never had a fight with him or anything. We just went a few months sometimes without talking, because we both had "busy" lives- I was in school n he had 2-3 jobs. It wasn't about being mad at each other at all. One night I had this urge to call him, once again I put it on the backburner and said I will when I get home. He got killed that night, and I regret not calling him. Now, when I think of someone I make it a point to call them. I don't let an entire day go bye without doing so.

Here's a question: Should you call or txt someone you havent talked to in years? If they don't respond, when should you try again?

(You probably thought I was going to say should you try again, haha, of course you will because you won't let one try n fail stop you)


Dedicated to my Best Friend

Never Said I Wasn't Crazy

Honestly, I never told anyone I wasn't crazy. True I'm not crazycrazy but I'm a little loose but who isn't? It's just sometimes I say out the way things... My ex took me to this point and it just hasn't left me! Lol That was 5 years ago when the craziness started. I tried to hit him with the car... forget the whole smashing windows thing... lol Crazy thing is I found the right one... He did like some superhero type of move and jumped on the car (i wasn't going too fast) and started walking on it. The dent is still in the roof if you need proof. Anyway after we broke up, I not only realized he taught me some great life lessons from our escapades, I also thought he cursed me!! I could not find a man to be in a long term relationship with! Back then long to me meant like 9 months, which is where we really ended... but we were off and on for 3 yrs or so, i don't really remember these things! Lol.

Guys always tell me I'm crazy, my friends do too. But like I said it's the silly crazy where I say crazy stuff. I dealt with a crazy guy and he rubbed off on me... I began thinking that I must be so crazy that guys don't want to be with me! Okay I only thought that once! I will stop being dramatic. My boyfriend now is constantly saying he thinks another reason why he loves me is that I'm crazy and there is never a dull moment! So now I'm encouraged for it! I can't really describe me but if you know me, you might agree to this... I just hope one day I do not have to go super crazy on someone, because you know how nice ppl snap when they are fed up. I'm somewhat nice (when I feel like it), I haven't fought someone since like 3rd grade, and I smile alot lol...so I'm afraid if the situation presents itself it will not be pretty. Well I'm not here to be a "internet gangster" (lol) just writing my thoughts down and it's not a crime. Once again if you know me I like to squash drama... I'm not down for the cause!

It's me It's Me IT'S ME!!! lol (yeah I know that had no place, I just felt like writing it)

You cant live without this crazy girl though... so keep reading... oh and when you see my movie like 2yrs from now (thanks phil) you will agree that this chick gotta be a little crazy. I really need to write for that and the book. I keep saying I need money but I don't write!! OH i also need an apple laptop... hook that up too! lol

I don't want to incriminate myself any further so I will leave on that note!!

Money worries???

I should be writing for my movie... but i'm here with you... how you like that? lol so this is what I cannot stand, the whole job issue going on. It has always been kind of hard to get one, but it's even harder of course now with the economy. I've been looking since December, and true at some moments I would fill out applications and hope and pray they do not call back. But ever since March when my brother and I decided we will get an apartment together in July, I've been hoping and praying someone will call! Well they haven't. That gets me but what really gets me is when people assume that I'm not really searching! For the past 3 weeks alone I've filled out 3 applications in person each week and I even called 2 of the stores which proved pointless!! Anyway, my boo is the worse because he said he can tell I don't want a job, I just want to party. And I really don't appreciate it! I told him if it was meant for me I would get it pointblank. He still doesn't think I put forth enough effort, and that really hurts my feelings... Its too hard out here and he has a job so he doesn't understand I don't think. He is really quick to tell me about how others are getting jobs and wants to know why I haven't gotten one... Why are you comparing me? You wouldn't want me to do that... Come on now man! His ex even had the nerve to say "What she still hasn't found one?". Now I had to go off on that. I asked him why is she all up in my business and worried about me. If she's not about to help me then she need to keep it moving... I honestly can't stand her like some ppl cannot stand their significant others baby mommas. Except thankfully they don't have a kid... they have 5 years of history... and she just won't go away. But that's another blog!! Ugh

Back to the job hunt... I am frustrated but please believe it is not taking over my life or anything. I just need a frickin job!!! Cuz I need money and I'm just being honest... if you can help a sister out... help me out... I'll repay you somehow.

I Don't Know How We Got Here

I don't know how we got so far so quick. I honestly didn't think it would come to this. Me and you? Never... And its not due to looks or personalities or anything. It's just I'm not big on commitment and I just was not ready for this... Me settle down? Never. How did we get to this point? I don't know. I don't know how I fell for you, how I began to yearn for your smile, how I began to crave your attention, how I began to love you, and how I began to give my all to you... I just don't know how but I guess that makes it so great... I didn't see it coming. But it scares me... It scares me to love you, scares me to think of the future... What are we doing? Are we supposed to be together forever, how will I know? I just don't know, if this is what I want... What am I missing out on? Its never worth it to act on lust, never worth going past a crush...
on someone else...
looking is fine, no one is perfect just don't go pass it...

I know it has to be hard. You just never know. All you do is keep moving and follow your heart. Try not to let your brain ruin whats good. But still you never know... You may be with the one you want to marry and then you find out they arent the one... And you get crushed. But you cant let that fear take over you and the relationship or it won't get far anyway... Never let a secret you keep destroy you because it will have the same result... Love love, and don't let fear take over you. I said try... that's all we can do in life...

In relationships alot happens that will put you on the edge... and you just don't know if you will make it. But you got to make it work. Work at it unless you know it just will not be worth it... You be the judge because no one can make that decision for you...